For the most part, sequel to iconic films tend to disappoint. For every Godfather and X2, there seem to be dozens upon dozens of films like Arthur 2: On the Rocks or Another 48 Hours. Yep, sometimes too much of a good thing turns out to be a bad thing. This week some out-of-left-field news dropped when various news outlets reported that filming will begin this year on a follow-up to the 2000 Oscar-winning martial arts classic Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. That film, which starred Chow Yun Fat and Zhang Ziyi, garnered ten Oscar nominations (winning four), was a worldwide smash, raking up over 200 million, and propelled director Ang Lee to the A-List. This Chinese film, in my opinion ( you expected someone elses?), was a near-perfect film, and got robbed of a Best Picture win. With that said, the news of a sequel seems as necessary as trying to teach a real cat to recite the fictional MC Skat Kat’s verses of Paula Abdul’s Continue reading
Nicolas Cage used to be a highly-respected actor who was known for quirky yet brilliant performances in both comedies and dramas from Moonstruck to his Oscar-winning role in Leaving Las Vegas. But, something terrible has happened and it’s been well documented. Ever since he co-starred with Sean Connery in The Rock, the actor has focused more on bombastic action flicks than the gems that made him the star he is today. Don’t look now, but Liam Neeson has become the second coming of Cage. The actor was a rarity: a Hollywood star who had indie cred as well. He could star in Batman Begins, for example, but also appear in Kinsey. But, something happened in 2009 during Superbowl Sunday weekend in the United States.
Neeson’s suspense thriller Taken, which had been released roughly a year prior overseas, basically came out of nowhere — despite ho-hum reviews — and just killed it at the box office. Ever since that film, in which Neeson played a former CIA operative tracking down his kidnapped daughter by any means necessary, raked in over $145 million at the U.S. box office, he’s been making almost as many schlocky action films as Cage. First, there was his wiggy turn as Zeus in Clash of the Titans. He followed that up as Hannibal in the B-flick redo of The A-Team, and the thriller Unknown, a film that seemed to only have him saying “I’m Martin Harris” every three-and-a-half minutes. But, that wasn’t all for Neeson. He had the audacity to reprise his role as Zeus in Wrath of the Titans, sunk the box office with Battleship, and starred in The Grey, a movie whose arguable highlight was the actor punching a wolf.
This Friday, a sequel to the film that started it all for Neeson will be released. Sadly, Taken 2, which finds his character Bryan Mills abducted with his wife while vacationing in Istanbul (I hear its lovely this time of year), is titled just that: Taken 2. The least the actor could’ve done for audiences disappointed with his recent roles is advocate for a sexier title or subtitle. Since he and the filmmakers behind it won’t, I will. Below are some catchier titles for what’s likely to be yet another Neeson misfire. Weigh in with your own titles as well. Comments welcomed.
Last week, Kentucky phenom Anthony Davis showcased more than his versatility on the court in leading the Wildcats to a National title. In fact, the big man’s skills and his squad’s dominate run through the tourney took a back seat to something much more impressive. Anthony Davis shamelessly sports a unibrow.
Long ridiculed and often despised, the unibrow has seeped through the underbelly of society, popping up now and then among some the world’s most respected individuals. But what was once a cult classic has now become mainstream. In honor of Anthony Davis’s coming out party, we give you the Top Unibrows of All Time.
1. Josh Hartnett: “Heartthrob Unibrow”
Josh’s uni first burst onto the scene in the 1998 teenage thriller The Faculty. In a world where the brow was looked at with contempt, Josh glided through Hollywood, landing major roles in Black Hawk Down, Lucky Number Sleven, and Sin City. In the romantic comedy 40 Days and 40 Nights, women were given the impossible task of resisting Hartnett’s seductive singular.
2. George Harrison: “Unapologetic Rocker Unibrow”
One would have thought that George’s unforgiving unibrow would have spawned a frenzy of copycats during the British Invasion, but instead he boldly stood in a sea of predominately double-browed comrades. Like his versatile playing, George was able to dress his brow for any occasion, from shirt and tie to acid hippie flair.
3. Anthony Davis: “The Allstar Unibrow”
Time will tell if Davis can ride the potential of his brow into infinite superstardom, but we have to like what we see so far. The 6’10″ freshman was simply unstoppable at times during the season, becoming an impenetrable fortress around the basket. In the championship game against Kansas, Davis’s unibrow corralled 16 rebounds and blocked six shots. A number one overall NBA draft selection is not unlikely for Davis come June, as long as he recognizes the source of his unlimited power. Public scrutiny will no doubt put pressure on the young lad’s brow, much like Adam Morrison’s mustache before it. Here’s to hoping we don’t see the same thing that haunted Morrison and ruined Samson in Biblical times.
4. Bert: ” The Sesame Brow”
Bert, take a moment to enjoy your day in the sun. You have always been thought of as the boring, studious one, while Ernie was loved for his light-hearted joking ways. But we are only now beginning to realize you were a trendsetter, for you were steadfast in your convictions and refused to mold yourself to the ever-changing ways of society. We are, of course, talking about your brow, a perfectly symmetrical arch that sits comfortably above your eyes, and contrasts well with your yellow skin. Your time is now, Bert. Besides, Ernie doesn’t even have eyebrows.
5. Eugene Levy: “The We Know You Have It In You, Time To Shine Brow”
Eugene, times are changing. We are shedding ourselves of antiquated conventions and accepting the beauty of the sole, the singular, the one. You are a recognized actor, writer, and musician, and your long, successful career is worthy of praise. But something is missing.
Now, with a new American Pie movie coming soon to theaters, what better way to celebrate your rejuvenated career than unleashing the one thing we knew you had all along: the unibrow.
The Smurfs movie looks like it’s going to anally rape my childhood. In a perfect world, the following Smurfs will be part of the sequel:
Kareem Abdul Ja-Smurf
Kool Aid Smurf
Not So Smurfy Smurf
Sorry Kermit, it’s actually quite easy being green. It’s being a Mets fan that’s really difficult. The New York franchise has a rich history, but also always seems to punish its fans with poor signings, bonehead planning, and inept management . In recent years, the team has reached all-time lows and I say this about a team who’s still paying Bobby Bonilla not to play. The team is currently the joke of Major League Baseball thanks to lackluster seasons coming off late-season chokes of ’07 and ’08, baffling roster moves, and constant ownership mishaps. Speaking of the latter, the Wilpons are – as we know – being sued for possibly $1 billion, and are still reeling from Bernie Madoff. Continue reading
I challenge anyone who thinks that Wilson Phillips weren’t pretty bad ass back in the day to reconsider. Look at Wendy’s confident side profile, Carnie’s shoulder pads, and Chynna’s Steve Perry-like emotions… Watch them, learn from them… as they walk down the street all gangsta at the end of this video. Visuals aside, listen to the lyrics of the song, which while uplifting, actually end up calling you out on your shit. Case in point: “You’ve got no one to blame for your unhappiness. You got yourself into your own mess.” That my friends, is what a wrestler calls a heel turn. Nobody takes the time to appreciate this trio so I’m doing it today. Enjoy your Friday.
One prize this fall is more coveted than the Nobel Peace Prize only it’s not. The Capital One Mascot of the Year Award is in full swing, and we had the chance to speak with one of them…the Louisiana State University mascot “Mike” the tiger — one of 16 finalists for the Mascot of the Year—about the competition, what tigers taste like, and where he’d go to celebrate if he wins.
Q: So you’re up for the Capital One Mascot of the Year. What did the Auburn Tiger, War Eagle and Fighting Funion think about that?
A: Cousin Aubie took it in stride, he’s a good cat. We’ve known each other for so long the jealousy factor is non-existent. Aubie knows Mike is smarter, more handsome, better with kids, stronger, and has a cuddability factor off the charts. Aubie’s brother Tony sent a text when he heard Mike was in the running again, which was the same text he must cut and paste, “That’s GREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAATTTT!” Mike hasn’t spoken to War Eagle since the Earthquake game and Mike has never met Fighting Funion, but generally doesn’t hang out with smelly mascots. Mike smells like roses, so anything that enters his aura of smell like a Funion would disrupt Mike’s Chi.
Q: You’ve got some pretty stacked competition for the honor. Who’s the toughest competitor you’ll face and why?
A: Mike’s toughest competition is always Mike, as this cat only beats himself. Certainly Big Blue and the Bearcat are tough because they are in the cat family, plus Big Blue hired fourteen kids to sit at computers all day to vote for him. He is off to an amazing start. It was nice for Mike Nation to spot him a win in week one. Also, Mike doesn’t trust PayDirt Pete. His mustache makes him appear devious and he certainly is capable of pulling pranks when Mike has hung out with him. The only person Mike trusts with facial hair is Chuck Norris, mainly because he is the only living being Mike fears.
Is it me or does it seem like you can’t leave your house without knowing what this kid is up to? OK, I want to clarify something..I know who he is…but for WHAT..that’s another story. Apparently he wants to act (if his Oscar-winning moment came on that teacher/student sketch with Tina Fey on SNL..we’re in trouble);catches foul balls at White Sox games;says Kim Kardashian is “just a friend” to prevent any assassination plots on the reality star (and we all know how Larry King’s show THAT night would turn out);gets inked on his hip (translation;tramp stamp); and worst of all..your 12-year-old nephew wants to look like him!
Not since The Beatles or Leif Garrett for that matter has anyone been so fascinated with what a teen heartthrob does at every waking moment of the day. So…time to go Chris Hansen on this kid (minus the sweet tea and cookies) and conduct full-on investigations. Some people prefer Perez, but once you follow my constant bulletins just as delicious,if not salacious – never will you wonder what this kid who makes David Archuleta look like John Cena not been up to. Time to get all up into Bieber. Ladies and gentlemen, keep your eyes peeled here for our Bieber watch all summer long.
As Season 10 of “Dancing with the Stars” kicks off 3/22..so far only one professional dancer seems to be making up for this season’s loss of Dmitry Chaplin and Jonathan Roberts: Damian Whitewood. The former hairdresser turned dance pro has been tearing up the scene in the smash “Burn the Floor” with DWTS regulars Kym Johnson and Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Paired with Pamela Anderson for his inaugural season, Damian’s credits including finshing as a semi-finalist at the Blackpool International Championships in the UK as well as touring with music legends James Brown,Shirley Bassey,and yes, Deep Purple. I look forward to seeing what this Aussie babe can do to the ladies.
Adam Tyleris a pretty cool dude. What makes him our sexy bitch today, however, is his kickass upcoming solo album and the fact he’s gotten all Avatar on our asses. Have a blue day, everyone.