Hat City Entertainment article: The Book of ‘Bert’

The press continues to roll in from The Book of ‘Bert.’ Here’s a story from Stephanie Lyons Schultz who wrote the piece late this summer for Hat City Entertainment in Danbury, CT.

Ode to the Hairy Lip

“I don’t know if it’s because I idolized (Mets’ first baseman) Keith Hernandez,” says author Jon Chattman about how his worship to lip-hair began. In his book, “The Book of Bert,” which he co-wrote with long-time friend and co-camp counselor Rich Tarantino, they highlight nearly every recognizable strip of facial fuzz throughout the history of pop culture. Amusingly, Chattman himself never donned his own ‘stache until he began promoting the book – and he says his wife hated it.It all started one day at the gym when Chattman decided it would be a hoot to write a book about celebrity mustaches. He’d already dabbled in mustache humor on his entertainment Web site www.thecheappop.com. He then conjured the curious title to pay homage to a mustachioed friend – you guessed it – Bert. (Funny, because the first image that came to mind from the name Bert was Bert of Bert and Ernie fame – except that Bert appears to wear his ‘stache a bit higher, in the upper-eye area, unibrow-style.) In any case, Chattman says the real Bert was “Rockin’ the mustache long before Borat or ‘My Name is Earl’ – among the ‘new wave’ of mustaches.” So the idea for the book was born. “I’ve also always been a fountain of useless information,” says Chattman. “And a pop-culture junkie.”

Using his “ ‘stache-dar,” Chattman says he often zeroes-in on stars in television and movies – sometimes to the distraction of the plot. “Most of the time it is crappy movies, so I don’t mind so much,” he says. For example, he was caught off-guard by Forrest Whitaker’s mustache in “Street Kings,” which also starred Keanu Reeves. “But anytime your mind wanders in a Keanu Reeves movie, it is probably a good thing.”
It’s likely everyone has a different pop-icon who comes to mind when you think of a ‘stache. When asked if Tom Selleck was in the book, Chattman replies with a resounding “yes.” In fact, he says Selleck’s is the “holy grail of mustaches.”

During Selleck’s ‘80’s run as Thomas Magnum of “Magnum, P.I.,” Chattman says mustaches were probably more acceptable than they are now, although they appear to be making a comeback. Selleck and co-‘stache wearer Burt Reynolds might just be the “classics” when one thinks of celebrity facial hair, he says.

“The Book of Bert,” however, “Sheds light on others lost in the crowd,” says Chattman. Others, he points out, like Sam Elliot or Juan Valdez. In the book’s 25 short chapters, Chattman highlights 25 of the best hairy nose-neighbors and ranks them on a scale of one to ten. Throughout, there are also lists – Top 5, Top 7 or Top 10 of mustaches in different categories – for example, best TV dad mustaches; best football player mustaches; or best mustaches in wrestling.

And speaking of wrestlers, whose is more recognizable than the infamous Hulk Hogan’s? Chattman says he’s ranked the number one wrestler – and he describes that lip adornment as “Two Twinkies connected by a bridge.” Chances are you’ll never look at the creme-filled golden sponge cake the same ever again.
Film and book critic Gene Shalit has more than a mention in the book as well. Known for his crazy handlebar mustache, Chattman says it looks like a “big, thick Sharpie marker exploded on his face.” And he says, “It’s one thing to sport a crazy ‘stache. But he throws in an afro, a crazy bowtie, big glasses and those terrible puns. He looks like a walking cartoon character!”

While most of those mentioned in the book are of the flesh-and-blood variety, there is a top-cartoon list and a best of fictional people. Who could forget Bugs Bunny’s nemesis, Yosemite Sam, whose walrus-like mustache took up his entire face and drooped down beyond his waist? And for those who recall the short-lived ‘80’s television series, “Rainbow Brite,” which may have been overshadowed by the powers of mega-merchandising, the villain of the show was Murky Dismal – who ranks #1 according to Chattman for cartoon ‘stache.

Chattman says he just recently shaved off his own fuzz. “I’m giving my face a break for the summer.” Growing a ‘stache for the first time in his life, Chattman says he waffled between liking it and hating it.
“I was confident some days and embarrassed on others,” he says. However, he explains, “everyone should try it once.”

“People look at you in disgust (sometimes),” he goes on. “Yet kind of in admiration at the same time. People are always looking at your mustache – it was like all eyes were on me.”

The book’s forward is penned by John Oates of Hall & Oates fame. The formerly mustachioed legend of pop music might have ended up in the Mustache Hall of Fame, says Chattman, had he not shaved it off 15 years ago. Chattman also says it is hard to distinguish whether it was Oates’ vocal chords or his mustache which were responsible for his chart-topping success.

Other celebs weigh in on the ‘stache debate. Comedian Mo Rocca, zookeeper Jack Hanna, Outkast’s Andre 3000, and NBC’s Today show host Meredith Vieira are among those quoted in “The Book of Bert.”

“This is essentially a guy’s coffee table book,” Chattman explains. “Or (it’s) a book you keep in the bathroom. I take pride in that. I do some of my best reading in the bathroom. It’s meant for a quick laugh!”
“The Book of Bert” was released in April 2008. It is available through Chattman’s Web site www.cheappop.com and in select book stores.